The Gurly Life

Death sucks

About 3 weeks ago, my aunt died. Well, one of my aunts. I was close to her, and I'm very close with her daughters, my cousins. Her death stopped my creativity in its tracks. It was like a giant balloon got popped, and I just didn't have it in me to patch it up and blow it back up again.

When people close to me die, there is a part of me that completely accepts that they're gone. Death is inevitable, it's a part of life. Then there is the part of me that dies with them. I guess that's part of life, too.

I haven't really wanted to talk about this much. I told some friends and then changed the subject. And I'm not likely to talk about it with most people, and I may or may not write about her here. Maybe in a few months, to honor her memory. I'm not interested in condolensces or empathy. Sorry, I'm just not, so the comments are closed because I know that anyone who reads this who is a half-way decent human being will want to say something in support. I'm also not posting this on FB or Twitter. I'm only writing this because something needs to give, this is stifling.

At some point, I'll be back. Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week.

Family!

London was a photo bonanza, but also a family bonanza. By the way, as I type this, I am at the Cairo airport. It is not very crowded, for reasons you can probably glean, though there hasn't been much trouble lately. And the best part is that if you Google something, it comes up with an Arabic version of Google. I mean, the results are in English of course, but all the bits around the results, the ads etc., are in Arabic. Awesome! Anyway. Where was I? London!

My cousin Raffi lives in London, with her husband and children. They live in an area of London called Marylabone, which is not too far from Buckingham Palace, residence of the Queen. They live in a beautiful penthouse apartment overlooking one of those little parks surrounded by pretty homes. Her kids are a 7 year old, Henry, and a 4 year old, Oliver. They are both spectacular, and Henry is my little cousin I always talk about. I talk about him because we first met when he was 2, and it was love at first sight and has continued to be. Henry is not your typical little kid, for whom distant relatives are out of sight, out of mind. He remembered me after we parted ways, and asked when I was coming to visit for months after.

My cousin can't tell him too far ahead of time that I am coming to visit, otherwise he will ask her every day, several times a day, when I'll be there, and will I pick him up from school. And he remembers everything you say to him. Everything.

Here we are, me on the left and my cousin on the right, and Henry and Oliver between us. Oliver is very shy, so I was not able to get him to give me a kiss on the cheek all four days I was there. We made great progress, though, when they first picked me up at the airport I sat next to the boys in the back seat and Oliver was frozen in terror the whole ride. But pretty soon, much showing off ensued as well as chasing and squealing. I would tell Oliver I was going to grab him and smooch him, and he'd squeal, grab his blanky, and run like hell the other way. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Raffi and I got a chance to catch up, this was the most time we've spent together since we were teenagers. We used to spend the summer in Salina, one of the Aeolian Islands, off the northern coast of Sicily, which is when we became really close. I wish that my other cousin, Lia, Raffi's sister, could have been there, but she works even harder than I do. We're a family of workers.

This morning I left at the asscrack of dawn - I was out the door at 5:15 am and on my way to the aiport. As an aside, I got ZERO sleep because my f*cking right hip was in such bad shape. I think I made a tactical error the last couple of days in London, and did not wear my trusty hiking shoes but regular sneakers. Back to trusty hiking shoes!  Anyway. I also made the tactical error of telling Henry that I was leaving very early, before he got up. He was determined to see me off, so he woke up at 2 am, and then every hour on the hour after that, until I got up. Then he got up too, and helped me make tea and toast, and we said goodbye with many hugs and kisses. After I left, Raffi told me he cried inconsolably for several hours, then went to school. Poor bunny. He's like the little brother I never had.

Anyway, more blogging as I go. I'll try to keep them short so I can post a little bit here and there. The pics will mostly have to wait till I return, but I did post some to Facebook.

A sniggly snag that worked out

Sometimes, things that appear to be a huge pain the ass, things that are conspiring to ruin your whole entire vacation, turn out to be ok, maybe even blessings in disguise. Sometimes, clouds turn out to be the silver lining.

I explain.

My upcoming trip to Europe and Egypt has been planned to the last minute. Planes were booked, people were mobilized, everything was set. Then the Egypt people, 2 weeks before the Egypt trip (it's a Nile cruise from Luxor to Cairo) said, oh sorry, the boat has been cancelled (?) but you can go on another boat on different dates.

I was all, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MONTHS AHEAD OF TIME I HAD TO PLAN TO MAKE THIS ALL WORK? Grrrr. [shakes fist angrily]

One of the dates the Egypt people suggested could not work because I would have had to move my return trip, and that was not possible (per the airline, who almost laughed at me when I asked, but were too polite to actually physically guffaw).

The original plan was: London, Barcelona, Egypt, fly home. Hang out with cousin on dad's side Raffy and her family in London, then hang out with cousin on mom's side Giuseppe and a couple of other cousins in Barcelona, then Egypt with my dad. The new plan basically messed up Barcelona. I huffed and puffed and declared I was pissed, but then decided that Barcelona had to eat it.

Instead, the new plan looks like this: London (and I get an extra day there), Egypt with dad, Sicily with cousins and other family members over Giuseppe's birthday weekend. In this scenario, I get to see not just my cousins who were getting together in Barcelona, but also aunts and uncles and my very old grandmother -- 105 and counting.

So one plan was scrapped, at some inconvenience and expense to me and my dad, as it turned out, but another plan was put in place that ensures that I see more of my family. Perhaps the universe doesn't give a shit about my money and convenience, but demands that I go hang out with my family.

Who am I to argue?

Old friends, new friends

Today I had lunch with some of my law school buddies. We were all in the same section (each year was divided into sections, and those were the people we generally got to know the best), and our group of 6 was a study group. A study group is a euphemism for support group, without which you will probably not make it through the first year of law school. The first year is like being in the trenches together, so the friends you make that year tend to be the friends you keep for life.

We all graduated from law school in 2003. In law school, two of us were married (myself and Christina). I got a divorce, Christina didn't. Since law school, the other 4 got married, Katie, Susan, Anne and Izabelle, and all had children. Today we managed to get 5 of us together in one room, with all but one of the children.

From left to right: Katie, with her daughter Madeline (5 1/2 months); Susan with Quintana Rose (3 months); Anne and Ike (14 months); Christina with Piper (4); me (with the camera remote, 6 months old).

It was a pot luck, so we each brought something, and I brought my camera so I could snap away at my very patient friends the entire afternoon.  The advantage of having an annoying friend with a camera is that you get pictures that you might not otherwise get, so you're welcome. Honestly, I'm the one who wants the pictures - I never regret taking them, and they get more valuable as time passes. Have you noticed? You can look at pictures from last year and be like, meh, but look at pictures from 10 or 20 years ago, and notice all the memories and emotions that flood right back. Priceless.

As Susan pointed out, it was like we had all just hung out a week before, even though it's been months and months. Here is the Flickr set if you would like to see them, but below are my faves. Well there are several others that are also my faves, but I couldn't very well put them all here, could I?

Madeline

Anne, making coffee while Ike still napped


Susan and Quintana Rose

Katie and Madeline

Christina

Susan

Christina, Piper and Susan cut into a smores brownie

Piper eating some fruit to make up for the smores brownie

Ike

Ike, chewing on stuff

I survived Valentine's Day

Actually, I made out like a bandit.

As I mentioned in a rather popular Facebook update, it was difficult to keep my grumpy pants on when I was surrounded by great people who sincerely wished me a happy Valentine's Day. Ok, the update was popular because I said I was pantless, but that's besides the point. Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of V Day or ever will be. What I am a fan of is people. And when people bounce into my office wishing me a happy V Day with a big silly grin on their face, and give me cards like this one:

and by the way, the card is giant, it reaches up to my knees. Which I did not include in this photo.

and Cat-A-Pults (look it up) that they picked up in a little store somewhere while off on a romatic weekend that had nothing to do with me but then they saw this thing and thought of me and here it is, well, how can I resist? How can I resist when a good friend who was itching to get me a card and flowers resisted the temptation because he knew I wanted to do things my way? I can't. I have to surrender. Have. To.

Here are some pics of Maliboo Kitty with the Cat-A-Pult.*

Maybe it was all the photo taking (sorry, ma, we're not done yet) that dragged me into the loooove mood, kicking and screaming, or maybe it was the actual love, but this was definitely the most enjoyable V Day ever.

* If you're still wondering what in the heck a Cat-A-Pult is, it's a toy with rubber arms that you can fling across the room, and it meows as it hits the floor. It's a very loud, annoying meow. Someone in my office took it to babysit it, and I had to retrieve shortly thereafter because she was annoying the whole office. Eh hem.

Joy of Love Day 8: A Gift From The Heart

Today's Joy of Love project is to photograph a gift from the heart. A gift someone you love gave you that made a difference. The lesson is to play with the manual setting on the camera. This would have presented a challenge, had it not been for my visit to DC last October, where I played with the manual setting a lot, especially for the night shots. Not that I have it down pat, obvy, but it is not a big scary hurdle to get over - it's more like something I can use more practice in.

I chose a gift from my dad for today's pic. To be sure, I get amazing gifts from both my parents, and my friends, and my family. The gifts are sometimes small, like a frog pen, sometimes large, like my Nikon D80, which I've been using throughout this project and increasingly over the last 3 years I've had it. The Nikon, by the way, was also a gift from my dad, who I remind each and every time I mention it that it's his own stupid fault that he got me started on this whole photography thing, and that he should just be grateful that I never took to sailing - that kind of hobby can ruin a man. He should also be grateful that the days of negatives and dark rooms are pretty much behind us, this hobby could have cost him a lot more.

But, back to today's photo. This is my bike. From about March/April through October/November, I take it to the beach and go for rides with my excellent friends Willow and Adam, and sometimes Todd and Kristen too. Each time I'm on that bike it feels like we're kids again. This past summer it languished almost unused because we had such shitty cold weather. The two weeks when it was warm I pedaled up and down the beach like it was going out of style. I am looking forward to a hot summer and lots of bike rides this year.

This is the jpeg photo, unedited, because I don't have time today. If I manage it later, I'll repost it edited.

The ghosts of Christmas past

On Christmas Eve, we gathered at Adam and Willow's place. Yes, yes, we were just there for Thanksgiving, but what can I do, the two holidays come very close together.

Willow had this cool idea that we should all use old photos of us as place-holders. I, naturally, forgot about this completely, but thanks to the intertubes I was able to download a couple of old pics of me and my mom. After dinner, we put them all together and here they are.

Someone (and I won't say who) not only forgot, but he did not have old pics of himself on the internets, so he did a little Pictorial Representation. In retrospect, I should have done one for him. Serves him right, I say!

I now have one of these

You know, I'm just going to go ahead and say. Again. You know that whole conflict between the Federation and the Borg? You know, "Prepare to be assimilated," and "Resistance is futile"? Frankly, I fail to see the point of resisting. In fact, my theory is that WE are the Borg, or will be in a couple of hundred years. We will have so much technology around us, on us, in us, in our purses (or murses) that finally we will just start getting it implanted in our bodies for convenience. I for one don't think I would strongly object to having a computer to supplement my brain. We are so heading to Borgdom!

To that end, I have received an excellent new gifty from my dad, the giver of cool electronic gifts: the Kindle. Yep. The electronic reader.

So far I have only used it to read the New York Times, but just today I was able to upload a pdf file (you can see pdfs, jpgs, docs etc) and 4 books that my dad got me to get me started. I have also figured out how to put things in collections so I don't have a massive home screen with every single book on there.

I have resisted the Kindle thus far, and am not sure I'm sold yet, but it is true that I simply do not have the room for books anymore. I am constantly giving them away, to friends, the library, neighbors, whoever will take them. This should make it easier to limit clutter.

So, a big thank you to my dad for my new gadget and I will keep you posted on how I do with it. I do like having the NYT on there, except that after 60 days I will have to pay to keep getting it, so not sure how that will go. But for now, I'm learning a ton about the world through the WikiLeaks articles. I will say this: it certainly looks like we're up shit's creek without a paddle. Fascinating articles, but oh my god are we knee deep in lawlessness and integrity is taking a big dive on its head into an empty pool.

Of course now I am thinking about a belated birthday/Christmas/another birthday gifty I can get him. The kind folks at Red Envelope have a great selection of cool gifts for men, and have asked that I embed a link to their site in this post. I am happy to do it - their website is chock-full of good ideas - go check out their men gift selection. And because you're totally awesome, if go to their site, you can get 10% sitewide, 15% off if you spend $80 or more, and 20% off for any purchase of $125 or more, with the promotion code PRESENTS10. Enjoy!

A change in plans

A few weeks ago, the planning began for my May trip to Europe. Initially, it was going to be London to visit one cousin, Barcelona to visit another cousin, and Pompeii with my dad. Today was going to be the day that I bought my ticket, using all those lovely British Airways miles and flying business class.

But then my dad called and said, what if we go to, say, Paris or Cairo? So I was all, well, I've been to Paris a bunch of times (though really can one go to Paris too much? I think not), but I've never been to Cairo. Besides, Cairo ... Pompeii, both all about dead people and what they left behind, right?

Thirty minutes later I had a business class ticket from Los Angeles to London to Barcelona to London to Cairo to London to Los Angeles.

I am not a huge fan of travel, to be perfectly honest, but since I'll do anything for a blog post and/or some good photos, well, travel is one of those things.

I think the Egyptian hieroglyphics will be a great inspiration for my Pictorial Representations.

What I need now is travel referrals so that we get the most of out of Egyptian tour-de-force.

Thanksgiving with friends

We had an awesome Thanksgiving at Willow and Adam's this year. I peeled about 4 lbs of potatoes, and washed about 1,000 dishes. I had to work off the clam dip somehow!

Thanks, Willow and Adam, for a wonderful gathering. And thanks to all the friends and family who were there and made it a fabulous evening.