The Gurly Life

A weird dream

Most people gain weight when they go on vacation, or around the holidays and special occasions. I'm the opposite. Mostly because I'm so terrified of gaining weight that I eat less than I normally do. Plus all that extra food kinda makes me gag. First world problem, I know.

The first week after I came back from vacation (and if you missed my vacation posts, you should scroll down and enjoy) I ate more than I usually do. I didn't eat enough to gain weight, but enough to feel weighed down. I blame my mom, who made some super delicious gluten free bread -- the novelty meant that I ate a lot of bread for several days.

And then I started having nightmares (nightmares, I tell you!) that I was eating everything put in front of me, uncontrollably, even though I wasn't really hungry. Burgers, cookies, cake, soup, meals between meals, and I could feel myself gaining weight as I ate.

I'm totally losing my appetite in my awake life. If I could figure out a way to bottle this and sell it, I'd have a mountain of money piled up to my chin.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch

This from Willow while I was in Egypt:

Subject line: You are in BIG trouble young lady!

So, I told you "DO NOT JUMP INTO THE MURKY POND!" because there were strange, scary critters around (and likely in) said pond. I specifically told you about the HUGE spiders. I went so far as to point out a HUGE spider - its body was about the size of a large house cat, bright orange with spots. Its skin was membrane-y. While we were looking at it, we even saw it lower itself into the murky pond on a piece of web that was pitch black and as thick as extremely thick rope (the spider also turned dark blue). But no, you proceeded to JUMP INTO THE CREEPY MURKY POND! Then, predictably, once you resurfaced so did the crazy once-orange-now-blue spider, with its "catch," a large, burnt, petrified rat. The rat looked as though it was running and was caught in a fire - frozen in a final sprint. The spider, having resurfaced next to your face, bit into the rat, making a sickly crunching sound. You began to panic and flail. I was trying to figure out how to get you out of the sketchy, murky pond when the spider then pulled out a gun (I don't really know from where, it seemed like a fold in the spider's body - maybe a pouch of some sort), took aim, and shot a bird that was sitting on a telephone wire just above and to the left of me. The dead bird fell into my hair, at which point I began screaming and flailing around too.

Needless to say, you are no longer invited into my dreams.

Hope you are enjoying your trip!

Joy of Love Day 11: Their dreams

Today's Joy of Love photo is about their dreams. My mom dreams of becoming a US citizen. I don't blame her. I got my citizenship in 2000 and I couldn't be more proud to be an American. Natch, I'm also very proud of being Italian, but that's not what this post is about. Here's today's photo. I have two versions.

I prefer the black and white because you can really see the lines on my mom's hands and the texture of the passport cover. The mood is also more appropriate to the theme: she's cradling the passport and in the black and white photo the preciousness of the citizenship comes across. The black and white also evokes the history of immigration, generations of people whose dream was to come to this country. The color one is pretty, but it makes me think more of a promotional shot for a car or a food processor.

The straw man

This morning I woke up to a very weird dream. I was hanging out with my friends Ian and Charles, and there was another person I can't remember, and Ian's boss - a woman in the dream. I don't remember much about it, but at one point it became clear that Charles and Ian's boss and the third person were actually made of straw. They looked for all the world like normal people, but if they accidentally got a cut, straw would start falling out instead of blood.

At this discovery, Ian totally freaked out, and did the only reasonable thing: he "killed" the straw people. He tore off their heads, and limbs, which came off like they were made of paper, and all the straw would stick out of their neck and arm and leg sockets. Then he threw them all down a very deep well with strange metallic bars that the "bodies" would hit on their way down.

I guess at some point I was inside the well because I remember seeing the bodies hurtle down almost on top of me, and then go past me, presumably to thud to their "death" down below.

Ian, really, was it necessary?

Some follow-up thoughts about the weird dream

Per my previous post, I had a strange dream last night that involved superheros fighting recklessly and possibly destroying buildings while I try to stuff my cats in carriers to save them. I think perhaps it is an easy explanation: my mom and I were discussing earthquake preparedness last night. My biggest fear is not being at my place when the big one hits and not being able to take care of my cats. So I think the mindless superheroes fighting were a personification of the unpredictable natural forces that every now and then explode into earthquakes and wreak havoc.

But what a convoluted way to get there!

Weird dreams

This morning I woke up at 4:30 from a dream that gave me anxiety. Some might say that dreams that cause anxiety are nightmares*, but in light of how stupid this dream was, I cannot dignify it with such a moniker.

As with most dreams, not all the details are clear. I taking part in some sort of group outing, and my group was wondering around a building or complex of buildings that was at once a rather squalid looking office building, sort of institutional, 70's school house building, and also weirdly and only partially constructed. For example, at one point I was walking down a staircase that wound its way down in a square pattern, except the stairs and handrail had not been installed so we were shimmying down a steep incline. I decided it would actually be safer to climb down the railings that surrounded the staircase, which we did fairly easily. Lots of stairs everywhere, but they didn't seem to have much significance other than as an architectural feature. The anxiety was not associated with the stairs, is my point.

Our group ended up sitting down with some movie executives and having a discussion about a Superman film. The discussion turned to using the real Superman rather than the actor hired to play him. This, however, did not suit the actor. There was no scene or exposition in my dream to indicate this, I just somehow knew it. The actor refused to give up his superpowers, which apparently had been conferred upon him to play the title role.

He then proceeded to get into a fight with Superman, over a woman, of all things. Not sure which woman, she was not a protagonist in my dream in any way. The fight between the Supers was quite frightening, and we all expected them to start detroying buildings and taking out mere mortals as collateral damage. The building we were in was almost on the water's edge, either a bay of some sort or a lake, but I want to say bay because I don't like lakes and I had no anxiety about the water. The fight was going on offshore, in and out of the water. Then, suddenly, they disappeared.

All the people eventually started coming out of buildings and setting up camp chairs on the water's edge, waiting for the return of the fighting Supers. It became night, and the vigil continued with lights all along the water's edge, and then day again.

All of a sudden, people started leaving. I asked why, and the answer was that they were nervous about the Supers' return and their combined wrath. I was able to secure a ride out of town, but asked the person to wait for me while I got my cats. Always with the damn cats!

I managed to put one cat in the carrier, and as I was about to grab Maliboo I got this overwhelming feeling of dread, like I was running out of time, and that as I was locking the carrier with Cricket in it, the Supers would slam into my building and Maliboo would take off and hide and I would not be able to find her in time to get out safely and drive off with my ride.

At that moment, I woke up. The feeling of dread lasted for a half hour or so, mixed with annoyance at the lameness of the dream.

* Those "some" include Merriam-Webster Unabridged, which defines nightmare thus:

Main Entry: ¹night·mare    Pronunciation Guide
Pronunciation: ntma(a)]()r, -me], ]
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from ¹night + mare (spirit)
1 : an evil spirit formerly thought to oppress people during sleep: as a : INCUBUS b : SUCCUBUS c : a hag sometimes believed to be accompanied by nine attendant spirits <the nightmare, with her whole ninefold, seems to make it the scene of her gambols -- Washington Irving>
2 : a frightening dream accompanied by a sense of oppression or suffocation that usually awakens the sleeper
3 a : something producing a feeling of burden, agitation, anxiety, or terror : a source of trouble or worry <the worst nightmares were the bridges high above rushing torrents -- Dillon Ripley> <the nightmare of the surgeon dealing with battle wounds is infection -- C.L.Boltz> b : APPREHENSION, WORRY <the life of a hotel man here is precarious and full of nightmares -- Sam Schneider>
4 : an experience, situation, or work of imagination having the monstrous character of a nightmare <their existence would be one living nightmare of hideous watchfulness and dread -- Blue Book> <signs that we dwellers in the modern nightmare love one another -- F.A.Swinnerton> <an enormous imitation palace ... a nightmare of pretentiousness -- John Hersey>

They're in your head!

Was Dean's take on it.

The last couple of nights I have had marketed dreams, for lack of a better term. On Sunday night, I dreamed that I had gotten a new Blackberry and I was all excited. Last night, I had a new iPhone, and again, oh so fun. I have no plans to upgrade my current cellular telephony. Now that I think about it, I have recurring dreams about phones and phone numbers, text messages, voicemail messages, trying to reach someone and missing them or them trying to reach me and I miss their call and only get their message.

So it seems that I'm wired even in my sleep. I would not be shocked to discover circuitry in my head. After all, resistance is futile. (Though I sincerely doubt it, I would be far more efficient and clever if that were the case.)

Elizabeth Gilbert: A new way to think about creativity

"Eat, Pray, Love" Author Elizabeth Gilbert muses on the impossible things we expect from artists and geniuses -- and shares the radical idea that, instead of the rare person "being" a genius, all of us "have" a genius. It's a funny, personal and surprisingly moving talk.

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. Featured speakers have included Al Gore on climate change, Philippe Starck on design, Jill Bolte Taylor on observing her own stroke, Nicholas Negroponte on One Laptop per Child, Jane Goodall on chimpanzees, and "Lost" producer JJ Abrams on the allure of mystery. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Watch the Top 10 TEDTalks here.

OMG I'm doing it!

I have found several online creative writing publications (I loves the intertubes!) and will be submitting writing samples for possible publication. I do not anticipate getting anything published any time soon, I understand this is a process, but if I don't start, nothing will ever be published anyway. The good news is I don't have a whole lot at stake (other than maybe a little bit of ego, and who cares about that), so it's a win-win situation.

One website accepts written submissions with illustrations/photos, so I might even be able to submit something like a blog post in format. Anyway, more of this later.

Edited to add: thanks Deirdre (professional writer and editor) for offering to give me notes. I miss you since you moved back to D.C.

I'm going to be a published author

Ok, well, technically, I already am because I have this blog and I have written some articles for our irregularly issued firm newsletter. I also have some articles from our law school paper, too. Anyway. I thought it might be fun to submit something to a small publication of some sort. Of course, right now I don't know what I'd be submitting to whom, it's all kinda vague, but I'm going to do some research and see what I come up with. Suggestions are, of course, welcome.