About a year ago I had a terribly clever idea: I purchased several laundry nets. You know, those mesh bags for your delicates and unmentionables [Ed.: which are about to be mentioned] so that they don't get mangled in the washer? I mean how many times have you had to unwrap a thong from a t-shirt, only to find that the elastic was shot by that point? (It doesn't help that I lose patience and tear at it like it's my enemy.)
While I was at it, I got a mesh bag for my socks and one for miscellaneous hosiery; I was tired of digging through individual socks in my sock drawer because of all the socks that the sock gnomes have taken from me over the years.
Genius, right? I haven't lost a sock for months.
On Sunday I did 3 loads of laundry, which included a rather large bag o' socks. I put the bag of socks in the dryer, and then distinctly remember taking it out of the dryer and putting in my laundry basket, thinking that I should roll up the socks in pairs and then deciding to procrastinate, i.e., I hoped that my mom would do it.
This morning I realized, to my dismay, that the clean socks were not in the drawer where they should be. My mom says she never saw said bag of socks (large enough not to be easily dropped in the hallway unnoticed). I walked through the laundry room a few times since Sunday and never saw it either. If I had left it down there someone would almost certainly have put it aside and left it there. It's not unheard of for laundry to sit, forlorn and forgotten, for a few days until retrieved by its owner. Theft is possible, therefore, but unlikely.
I am left to conclude that the sock gnomes, tired of being repeatedly rebuffed, decided to teach me who's boss by absconding with my bag of socks. The entire bag. With all my socks, including at least 2 pairs of nap socks (see, that was the insult the gnomes added to the injury, that's how you know they're really mad). I also wonder if the Great Sock Heist of 2015 might, in part, be retribution for this:
I think we can all agree on the moral of this story. I can only hope that my tale of woe will be a warning to you all.